Monday, March 18, 2013

To get chickens, or not to get chickens...

First and foremost i am so afraid of loosing my birds again its not even funny. I just want to raise healthy animals that I can breed, raise, and possibly show...
And there in-lies the second problem, the more emotionally straining and exhausting part, the people...
There is this group that I used to be highly proud to be in, I was included, and for once in my life I wasn't viewed as weird or an outcast, or belittled because I loved my chickens and the life of farming. Me, I was included, I was giving advice and helping people, I was actually included and learning, sharing, and having fun; but, as of late I feel anything but included there.
So far, this has happened with almost everyone. My organic neighbors claiming that there way was best and my way was killing the birds. *I did actually get an apology from them though!* from the gentlemen I met at my first poultry show who actually accused me of poisoning my own animals because "Birds don't get that sick so fast" and the people from Back yard chicken who simply stopped talking to me because "i wasn't listening to there advice" when I did everything I could including spending a fortune on vet and lab tests, and vaccination...I could keep on going, but for fear of angering people I wont...
People who I thought were my friends, turned on me...over poultry...
I cant even show face in said poultry group anymore for fear of whats been said and whats been done...Not to mention I have nothing to share, and probably wont ever again...I just wanted some friends who share my love...And now ill probably never be able to go to a show, speak to who i thought were my friends, or post in the group again.
I told Adam I was done, *my husband* with poultry because of the people, and so far hes refusing to let me...Hes threatening to bring home random eggs and stick them in the incubator and keep killing them until I step in...*knowing that I wouldn't a) let him screw up a hatch, and b) be able to leave eggs in an incubator alone*
Even the people who were helping me, im having a hard time trusting them and believing them after everything...
I think they honestly just want to help, but then so did the others and they hurt me, so im torn.
I honestly, just don't know if I can physically keep doing this.
Chicken keeping, a true world of drama, distrust, hatred, manipulation and verbal attacks...
Fantastic...
So now, to get chickens...and just don't talk to anyone and stick with the laughs, head shakes, and eye roles from the non poultry people in my life, or be prepared to never trust anyone in the poultry world ever again, be prepared to always get the short end of the stick, and be prepared to be yelled at, blamed and walked on...
Or, to not get chickens, and simply avoid everything, by removing ones self from the equation...

Depressing banter is depressing, im sorry, but this is the one place I can at least write down my feelings without being yelled at, or labeled a drama queen... because hardly anyone actually reads what i write. ...Wow, that was depressing to, I did not mean for that to come out like that, >_> Even if its true.


And no, Annie has not had her baby yet, ill post that on here when she does for anyone who's following her current status.

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